Lee Heidhues 2.5.2023
The imbroglio involving the Chinese Balloon is nothing more than a distraction from the real issues facing America.
Racism, income inequality, gun violence and the spread of right wing orthodoxy in the United States.
The bogus security threat of the Chinese balloon, broadcast far and wide by the mainstream media, is mind candy for the masses.
A crass appeal to America’s historic racist, xenophobic isolationist instincts.
Excerpted from Medium 2.4.2023
The US has now popped China’s spy balloon with a missile, but not before the big Beijing gas bag wreaked havoc on the country.
Long-term effects will undoubtedly result, and of course will occur in the long term, but this series of cataclysmic events immediately transpired:
💥 The sky official fell
This news in a late-breaking report by reporter Chick N. Little
💥 Prices of the scrumptious, and always popular, Panda Express Orange Chicken skyrocketed
Since the balloon was actually an Orange Chicken delivery drone for Panda E., the shortage of the best Chinese dish ever, was sudden AND acute. There’s now talk that Panda will have to switch to Yellow Chicken to satisfy customer demand. Even paler chicken shades are being discussed by top execs at the fast food behemoth.
💥 Midwesterners finally had something to talk about
As the balloon drifted over the country’s midsection, people living there took a break from discussions about corn, cheese, potatoes, and football and turned their eyes heavenward.
Then they began talking about the weather.
💥 Florida Governor, Ron Desatan, missed out on the opportunity to say something incredibly stupid and racist
The heat rising from this backward nation (Florida), that’s still part of the US, likely prevented the spy balloon from drifting into Floridian air space.
Sorry Ron.
But buck up, rumor has it that a cavalcade of Gay, Black, transgender Disney characters are massing at your State’s northern border and preparing to invade.
💥 Chinese Spy Balloon-inspired bouquets
Will be all the rage for Valentine’s Day.
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